Cellular Conversationalist Mugs

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

The Modern Novel.

Woman on the phone.

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Modern Narcissism

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It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

Communication

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

Cyber Fight

"We don't communicate any more..."

"My chat bot doesn't understand me."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

When Euclid and Galileo get together they talk about parallel universes.

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"Sick? No. Everything is fine. We're all just under the weather."

'Excuse me, could everyone be quiet, I'm trying to talk on my cellphone.'

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'I'm having the shrimp scampi. How about you?'

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in personal, supportive but not disempowering course?"

'I see from your profile that you are 5ft 3, have blond hair and like red wine.'

'Mum says we should talk more so I've subscribed you to my blog.'

'George will be dining with us via Skype.'

'Oh, you're from earth. Do you know Aaron Michaelson?'

"IRL sucks."

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."