Cellphone Wizard Prints

Silly sausages

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Oymoticons

WiFi Signals

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

Counting part time employees is the new math.

All the apps hidden within a phone

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

-Great little number cruncher! -But lousy table manners.

Creative accounting.

Sports Radio in Crisis

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

STRIP Hambone: Number cruncher

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

I love maths.

math faculty

Illogic Tree

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Telecommuting doesn't hold up well during team building trust exercises.

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

Call Center.

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

The Town Tweeter