Celebrity Appreciation Gifts

"You could at least try and look a bit like Alan Titchmarsh."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

The americanisation of vulture.

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

Meanwhile in Hollywood

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

R.I.P. ZZ Top - Dusty Hill 1949-2021

Bryan Ferry

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Little Red Riding Carpet

Vanna White: The Later Years.

Tom Hanks

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Joe Henry

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."