Celebration Of Absurdity Pillows

Matador

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"He was a sea rescue."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Now you can send it."

Humans Queue To Use Portable Toilet While Dogs Queue To Use Tree Portable Toilet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

'Let's get a kitty.'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Trapeze artists commuting

Magnet at scrapyard

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

The Bonvoy Age...

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

Scuba Diving Devil

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"