
"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."
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"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."
'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'
No Immediate Danger
"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"
"It's called being preemptive."
Man and woman meet in bar, in strained poses. He says: 'Now we've met, can we drop the Myspace poses?'
"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department
Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified
'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'
Them/ Us
"Looks very promising. Put us down for one half of one share."
Tortoise Goes For A Swim
Health and safety nightmare.
At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."
'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'
Shaker Timeouts
'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'
"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."
'www.johnlint.com. Pleased to meet you.'
Height barrier accident.
Half a loaf is better than none..
"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"
"Good morning 'Best Friends Forever' breakfast club!"
'Better slow it down a bit.'
Drink Driving
"She wants to make sure we don't lose her money..."
"Just relax. Your investments are so safe you'll be worth a million dollars if you live to be 169."
'Henry's afraid of Sunday drivers.'
Ted never left anything to chance. His computer passwords were all 99 random characters long. . .
Tiptoeing around voltometers.
"Happy New Year"
"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."
Tortoise and his Little Chemist Set
My 35 years of experience tell me your tolerance for risk is low...
Excess Baggage: When in doubt about eating something sold by a street vendor when you're away from home...Don't.
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