Caulking Champion T-Shirts

'Yeah, there's a gentleman here who says he's come to caulk where others have been too afraid to caulk.'

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Susie knew she could rely on big Ted for comfort.

'I love it when you spoon me.'

Personal conker trainer.

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

Emotional Bling

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

An angry barbecue.

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"We could have saved time and just served the served the charcoal briquettes."

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"Wait -- can I be enormous spoon tonight?"

'It's not global warming. It's 'Hot Flashes'.'

Our Summer Without Dave

So as you can see, sales were identical in all sectors yet again last year. Peppermint Candies, Inc.

school kids playing conkers

Knight of the sandcastle.

'And what can you bring to the party?'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

Chiropractor jokes.

'Do you have a reservation?'

"What are we doing today?"

First Place Layabout

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'