Catering Comedian Mugs

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"States of tofu"

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

6 Brothers Falafel

Soup of the month.

Chez Nous Menu

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

'Like death by salad.'

Night of the Latkes

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Would you like some wings?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."