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On the Job Training - Happy Mother's Day!

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

"A virus ate my homework."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'

"I can't fire him. He has corporate sponsors!"

Reconnaissance reports your email blast to Sales was a direct hit, with acceptable collateral damage in Finance and Accounting.

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

Business News: Economic Growth Indicators are Up, Led By Car Repairs, Divorce Costs, Open Heart Surgeries and Toxic Waste Cleanups.

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'