Cat Enthusiast With A Twist Gifts

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

101 uses of a dead cat: gun

Copycats

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Foster failure"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Cat box"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Now I really hate poetry."

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"And where have you previously moused?"

The Mouse Princess

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Cats on Board.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'