Cat Entertainment Innovator Pillows

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

Cat Reunion

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I hate it..."

Artists Cats

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Cat Lover's Leap.

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'Isn't he sweet - he got down all by himself!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

He had to control his tail or face the most bizarre sexual harassment suit in history.

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

101 uses of a dead cat: peg leg

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Extra Absorbent Kitty Litter.