Cat Conspirators T-Shirts

They trained him to play dead. I think it's some sort of insurance scam!

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

Witch: 'I've mellowed. Instead of black, do you have a gray cat?'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Curiosity."

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"The human is back - act normal."

'Tell me where she hides the treats and I'll get you a straw.'

"We get in, we go down, we walk to the Park. I do my business; we're in and out in ten minutes. Anyone asks, you're with me."

'I baked it especially for you.'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

Fight-or-Flight Response Study Commission.

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

"There he goes, filling their heads with ludicrous conspiracy theories about microchip implants and mass sterilisation programmes…"

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

'So, the rumours are true! You have been friendly with the Postman! My own son! Shame on you!'

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'

"I can't meet you in the park today. The cats suspect something."

Here lie the earthly remains of Cal Can, beloved town dogcatcher.

'Ya don't scare me copper. I'll break out'a dis joint an come round an poop on ya lawn.'

'I can't believe you cooked this all by yourself...you must have had an accomplice!'

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

"I guess I could include the box... But why would you want it, Mr. Schrödinger?"

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

"I'm from the president's office. We want you to develop a truth drug."

"But mostly I'm disappointed that they didn't just trust me not to scratch."

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

'Apparently, someone went on my computer and ordered fifty cases of doggy num nums...would you happen to know anything about that?'

"Here's some money and a passport. They'll be looking for you so head to to the border and good luck."

Dog pointing at a line of cat suspects.

'We've just been declawed and a new couch is delivered: Not a coincidence if you ask me...'

'What have you done with the dog, Fred?'