Casual Texter Pillows

I heard you have a really bad toothache. Meh. Not anymore. "Meh"? I got bored of that, so I just moved on. Amazing. "Mindless over matter." Bored of this phone.

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"Oh, this old thing?"

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

Infinity Tavern

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Just a little heads up!

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Ladmag - Caution, immature content.

'This one is for not intervening in countries that don't threaten us.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

Everyone have enough to eat and drink? We can start the discussion! I'll have a drop of wine. Do you have another cookie? I could do one more cheese puff. Got it. No one's read the book. I googled lost of reviews!

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

Moral Values for Dummies

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Man with t-shirt 'I *spade* my dog'.

"I have to write a book report for school. . . do you have any books with lots of pictures?"

"I'm glad you're not one of those sharks that has to swim all the time."

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

Caddy With A Cool Box

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

"I just sent a penny to your bank account for your thoughts."