Casual Gathering Dodgers Pillows

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"This place has the best happy hour."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"We're bears you fool, we don't need agendas!"

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

"If only you could do this in real life..."

A diamond robbery goes wrong when the hook catches the sleeping museum guard's hat

"Got outta jury duty!"

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

"You should have been here at eight!"

"If you wouldn't book hotels with such great amenities, I wouldn't miss so many seminars."

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

Pizza Party

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

'And Rachel, if you're not back by midnight, this video of you taking a bath in our kitchen sink when you were 2 is getting posted on Youtube.'

"Sorry, your meeting's been pushed back...Mr. Smith's only 2,000 from a world record!"