Casual Congregant T-Shirts

He's gone too far this time. Rudy? He said he's decided to become a person of faith. He said it's the hip thing to be. But he's not totally clear on the concept. I'm not available on Sundays. Oh, come on now.

"I AM committed to church. I go sometimes, once in a while, and every now and then."

"This place has the best happy hour."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

Early Piety

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Priest

A trevor of trainspotters

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'Let us pray...'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"I have an app for that."

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"

Pastor's Bumper Sticker: Save the Congregation

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"Amen. Please help me up."

"God created Heaven and Earth in seven days but has failed us miserably with Brexit."

CCTV in church.

Baptism Then and Now

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"Did you have to go on about his being 'officially unavailable' and 'defying the nature of his masculinity?"

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'