Castle Enthusiast Mugs

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'We just have to hope and pray they don't go around the side!'

'I know where you live!'

Soldier surveys castle ruins, saying: 'With hindsight, it was ambitious calling it a 'keep'.'

'...Or does it go 'measure twice and cut once'?'

"I still think a simple pedestrian mall would have sufficed."

'Well Mr. Jenkins it may be historically accurate, but it doesn't really comply with planning permission as an extension to your bungalow.'

'That does it! We have to insulate the ivory tower.'

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"Honey, we need to decide if we're going to add on or conquer a bigger castle."

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

'I lost my key to the kingdom.'

'Oh, they're right, our lawyer says our castle does encroach two metres onto their property.'

Housing bubble estate.

Sand castle in a sand timer.

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'... And I now insert the brai ... Egor, this is a cauliflower.'

'As the housing inspector, I'm telling you to install a smoke detector.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Castle in the Clouds

"Liability issues, Sire."

"The Budget Committee needs to know - is the moat national security or infrastructure?"

Charlemagne

DING DONG!

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"It's the battering classes"

'OK, OK, I'm coming, I'm coming...'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Have a safe trip!"

"Uh-oh! - That was the window cleaner. . ."

"It's a great old building, but I wish we had a more up-to-date security system."

Beware of the Dragon

'I do like the moat.'

"The good thing is they don't use palm oil!"