Casting In A Play Mugs

'Daddy Daddy, guess what: I'll play the Unicorn in the school play!'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Casting in the swamp.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Charlotte Rampling

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Casting Director

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

'You're just not right for Naked Ninja Nuns...you can act!'

"He thinks that if they really want to smash the stereotype then he should be a shoe-in for the next Bond."

'My imaginary playmate squealed on me!'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

And the die is cast!

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

"Of course, there's Macbeth and the pantomine season...."

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"You're right, Son. This movie did have a great cast."