Case Worker Pillows

"Not to worry—I'm going to put our best-looking people on the job."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'This is a job for a consultant.'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Social Worker

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

Stress

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

Maybe if she didn't look at the paperwork, it would just go away.

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

Hot Line

'Mr. Wigglerum finally paid his bill but he did it by faxing us cash.'

"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

Planned Parenthood: 'What do you mean, you want an unexpected pregnancy leave?'

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

"This is a part-time job with full-time aggravation."

'You've been friendly to a customer? You anwered his question competently and solved his problem?? Don't you dare to do that again, mister!!'

''Mobster'? -- I thought I agreed to testify against a lobster!'

"The clerk will call the roll."

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

"The time is now 7:42 - and if you can hang on for half a sec, I'll witch you over to Phil with the weather."