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The Walking Fred

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

A caveman paints from life

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'It's an extinction notice.'

"She's just being Koi."

"Say hello to my little friend."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"The unlucky lemming"

Trump leaving

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Love Conquers All

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'