Carny T-Shirts

'He's a living legend. The most decorated carny in history.'

'Experience?'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Bubble gum leaves

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Chocolate Shop

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

All-Candy Seder.

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

The dark side of Halloween.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Secret sweetie drawer...

Halloweek: Eating candy seven days straight.

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."