Carny T-Shirts

'He's a living legend. The most decorated carny in history.'

'Experience?'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

Bubble gum leaves

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

Chocolate Shop

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

All-Candy Seder.

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

The dark side of Halloween.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."