Carnivore Humorist Pillows

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

Rescued Meat

A meat counter is divided between 'Delicious,' 'Not bad,' and 'Edible.'"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'White meat or dark?'

*=Hotdog

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"What you smell son is called a cigarette: A sure sign that humans are around and we should flee..."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

"There's been a terrible mistake!!"

'Pterodatyl? Everything tastes like Pterodatyl to you!'

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

"Something I ate disagreed with me." "What did you eat?" "Ibuku. He disagreed with me."

Pig in the back room sits quivering as the chef offers bacon bits to a customer.

"I refuse to eat vegan food. I'm an omnivore, me!"

A real turkey lunch.

Dog working as a butcher.

'The vegie burgers are ready Darling...'

"I'm one of those vegetarians who eat meat."

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

'. . . And for all you vegetarians out there the Venus Flytrap.'

A rump of butchers

"So do you want white or green meat?"

'Gimme some bread, quick! I think I've got a tusk caught in my throat!'

"Damn straight, if the food chain ain't broke, don't fix it."

"One man's meat is another man's beloved pet."

Mary had a little lamb. And some mashed potatoes.