Caring Listener Pillows

Unfortunately Sandra was the only one to show up at the support group for those with abandonment issues.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Audio Books

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"I don't leave home without it!"

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

Get well soon!

Cares and woes.

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

"Any improvement since I brought the balloon?"

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Science Applied to Art

'She saw right through me.'

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

'I don't know how you stand listening to people's problems all of the time, Doctor Barnes.'

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

'We're a bit short of staff so if no-one answers the red button then you should try screaming 'Help me HELP ME Dear God I'm Dying' as loud as you can!'