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America's Rich Tapestry of Unemployment

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

Others will fight for you

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Work/Life Balance

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'Yes, can I help you?'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'