Career Transformation Fan Pillows

"He used to be a dancer."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Planned service changes

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"I hate my job!"

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

Career advice from the boss

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

Temp Employment Agency. Ah, I see that you have a short attention span.

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

"I've applied the Paper Reduction Act to my resume."

"Sure, you could make a good living in private industry, but believe me, you wouldn't be running any kingdoms."

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"I'm a retired doctor."