Career Strategists T-Shirts

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"You'll go far in this organization, Taylor, unless I manage to stop you."

"As long as you stay on the track, eventually you'll be run over by the train."

Resume Consultant. Listing professional development courses you've taken since your last job was fine, but don't put"New & Improved" above your name.

"So you think people will line up to give us a job?"

"Bad news, Jim. In order to keep up with my five year career plan, you and I need to switch jobs."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."