Career Satirists T-Shirts

"People say I'm boring. My spirit animal is an accountant."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

In and Out Tray

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'I'm delegating everything but my paycheck and my snazzy office to you.'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

'Remember, Jenkins, I want those briefs on my desk by morning.'

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'