Career Negotiation Mugs

'Think about it, we have leverage: If he doesn't want to give us a raise, we can threaten to reveal his tricks...'

'Okay, £60,000 a week AND a ticket for the London Olympics.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

"Is this about your raise?"

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

'Was my salary expectation a bit too high?'

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'Have your people facebook my people.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'What would you say to a salary increase?'

'You may have three mergers.'

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

Book Deal

"To avoid trouble, I've brought in a troubleshooter."

"I'm sorry, but you're under-overqualified and over-underqualified."

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'Guess who's hinting for a raise?'

'You're asking for money? Now you're really pushing it.'

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

'The position sounds interesting, but my last job paid more coconuts.'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'Your excuses for not doing your homework are excellent. How about a career as political apologist?'

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."