Career Motivation Gifts

'They say medicine is a calling. . . but it's days like this I wish I'd had call waiting.'

'Does this mean I'll never get a chance to work for Donald Trump?

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Staff support"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Reach for the Star.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

International Women's Day.

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Pipe Dream.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

Go team!

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'