Career Leaf-turner Pillows

"Ever have a day when you just didn't feel like going to work?"

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Go! Means NOW!

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

Planned service changes

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

"I hope it indicates a quick promotion."

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

Hirer to employee handing him lighted hat: 'You'll be starting at the bottom.'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."