Career Coaching Pillows

'Your performance rating is terrible, Fenwick, but I like your looks.'

'I'm sorry; what we're really looking for is someone who won't make a difference.'

Work/Life Balance

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

How leaders fail

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Any questions?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"I AM at my usual position."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'