Career Changer T-Shirts

"The first thing you need to do is update your résumé."

No 1 in a series of unlikely events: "Social work is such a meaningful worthwhile work that I've decided to give up my lucrative law practise to join you!"

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'Mr Bagley, I'm afraid there's rather more to being a bishop than having your own hat.'

"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'But I don't want to build toys. I want to be an accountant!'

'He was a physician, but because of all the difficult patients he gave it up and became a veterinarian.'

'I used to be an investment banker...but I am alright now.'

"Your last job sounds terrible."

'I dunno Jim...Accounting just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'Three letters of recommendation - do you have any from anyone other than your former wardens?'

'I used to be on the cutting edge, always pushing the envelope. Now I stuff them.'

"I see you've spent the last twenty years driving a cab."

"Oh, that...Yeah, for a long time I did follow my passion, but everyone said I sucked at it. So now I'm an accountant."

'I understand you're looking for engineers.'

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

'I should have been a Lawyer.'

'I'd love to get a different job, but all I know is being an dung beetle.'

'I'm afraid we don't have anything for you right now, but if we get really depserate for people we'll be in touch.'

'I was a hunter and I was a gatherer, Now I'm a free-trade lobbyist between the two,'

'I know you needed a career change, Dear, but we were doing so much better when you were an accountant!'

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

'Okay, who's résumé was in today's out-mail?'

"I hate my job!"

"I've decided to pursue a military career in the private sector."

'Tell me, Mr Tolteck, have you applied for the headhunter or the key account manager position?'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"I didn't get the job. They said I was over-qualified."

'No education, no skills, no experience, no character references... I'm afraid the only thing left for you is politics.'

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

'Your resume says that you were previously a waiter. Can I assume that you're comfortable taking orders?'

Planned service changes

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

'There's a big, wide, wonderful world of opportunity out there, Figgins, and I can't bear to keep you from it for another minute.'