Career Changemaker Mugs

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"

"I've been sent home with unemployable-like symptoms."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Planned service changes

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

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"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"I've applied the Paper Reduction Act to my resume."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'