Career Builders T-Shirts

'Your resume says you pay attention to detail, which I would find easier to buy if your fly wasn't unzipped.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"I'm willing to try you out. But you'll have to give up the whole cat thing."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Young Frankenstein"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

37 years in the same position.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Supermom.

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

Planned service changes

Graduate

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Tweaking the CV.

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."