Career Advice Comic Fans Mugs

'This is the worst resume I've ever seen!'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

Office Politics Superstore.

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"The pay will be commensurate with your ability to pull the wool over my eyes."

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

'How was my evaluation They really cut me down to size.'

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

'Fortunately, Henderson's no fool - He's a damn'd fool.'

"Any talents besides tasting good?"

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

'Your falback position, Petersen, is out the door.'

"I already have a co-worker replacement."

The job interview was more thorough than roger had anticipated.

I'm the vice president of something or other...

'So, you're looking for casual labour!'

'We need more boots on the ground.'

The job carries 'salary but no health cover' or 'health cover but no salary.'

'There were a lot of highly qualified applicants, but I was particularly impressed by your resume.'

'Is this the one with the fault?'

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

'So much for being a fast-track guy.'

"We can't offer you a golden parachute, however we do provide a very attractive escape hatch."

'I'm changing the holiday schedule, you're on holiday from now.'

'We're hoping to get enough for the boss to take early retirement.'

In case of fire, change subject.

'How long have you been with us now, Jeffrey?'

Job Centre: Settle for Early Retirement.

'We've been looking at a new 'incentive' scheme. The incentive is you get to keep your job!'