Career Advancement T-Shirts

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

"I made partner!"

Woman walks past a sign in an office that reads "Sycophant of the month".

"I'm sorry. When I told everybody that we started in the mailroom together, I didn't realize you were still there."

Corporate ladders for men and women

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

'A ceiling? All this time I thought it was a floor.'

'The trouble with opportunity is that it comes disguised as hard work.'

"How's my presentation? Call 1-800-..."

"Did you think the ladder of success would be straight up?"

In basket-case.

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

'I agree... He's had a brilliant career trajectory. But a lot of people sure got hurt along the way.'

"I used to lose my secretaries because they were getting married - now they leave to start their own companies."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Responsibility and duties

'You don't want the job, do you?'

Congratulations on your promotion, Bob, but I should tell you that no one has lasted over a month at the Department of What Could Possibly Go Wrong.

'Honey, I'm home.'

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

'I need someone to fill my shoes and be in them when the SEC come calling.'

'We're ready to move you to the top, Hopkins... but we don't know how much loneliness you can tolerate.'

"On a show of hands, do we let Miss Brimshaw into our den."

'At least it's steady work.'

"I'm not going to lie to you. That's what Hendricks is here for."

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

"I am dressed for the job I want."

'Manager. . . Commander. . . Chieftain. . . King!'