Care Pillows

Card: Get Human Soon!

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Polly txt speak

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Pick me!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

vaccine wars.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

A midwife holding a baby

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'Fetch.'

Billy. The Kid.