Cardiac Care Enthusiast Pillows

"This being another divisive election year, I'm putting a surge protector on your pace maker."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Me? I took my cardio to the next level.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Healthy Patients Only

Get well soon!

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

'He's a changed man since the heart transplant. It came form a liberal.'

A day at the races

Safe driver.

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'