Cardboard Chaos Navigator Mugs

"Frank?"

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Signs of Stress

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

A dream of consequence

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

Having It All

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

Careful

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

Going to the pub with kids...

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

Working from home.

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

"The therapeutic petting zoo creatures have calmed the office, but the cleaning crew is freaking out!"

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'