Card Collecting T-Shirts

A dog looks at birthday cards in increments of seven years.

Invent Sales Day

'Do you have any 'Congratulations on Your Presidential Pardon's' cards?'

Birthday Surprise.

'This is an authentic Valentine -- I got it from Saint Valentine!'

Cards For All Occasions.

Get well card for a dog

'These are our best sellers.'

Large Valentine's cards for girlfriends.

From us to you...a very merry Christmas.

"We have a new card line called 'It Must Be Nice'. Congratulate your friends, but with a hint of bitterness."

Christmas postie!

"Sorry, Mom. I couldn't find any with money in them!"

Death buys a greeting card

"I'm looking for a card that says 'You're one step closer to the grave', but in a humorous way."

Patient decorating hospital room.

Hallmark Cemetery

I'm looking for some stamps in the Jungle Series.'

'Todd's fickle. All his valentines are written in pencil.'

Valentines for Her/Valentine Reminders for Him.

"That's not an email, so you don't have to worry about it containing a virus. It's a birthday card from Nana."

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

It would've worked too, if his idiot partner hadn't switched on the exhaust fan.

'Ew, gross! The Wilkinses tried to spice up their Christmas letter this year by making it a swimsuit edition!'

'Ok, give me $30 worth of rare stamps, and change for the bus.'

The Direct Male Market: Feigned Sincerity Greetings!

'Wow! A game used collectors card!'

'Nasty cold-take a couple of get-well cards and the rest of the week off.'

Before you open it could you just sign the waiver accepting that the firm bears no responsibility for you feeling better in any legally recognised sense.

Sympathy and Grief-Giving Cards

Mother's Day Sale

"It says: 'Final notice. You will be dropped from our Christmas card list unless you send us one immediately."

'Oh yes... and I'll want one for the wife as well.'

Valentine cards for her, Valentine reminders for him

"You got lots of nice birthday cards, why are you dwelling on the one negative one?"