Car Park Humorist Pillows

'You're in luck. We just got an opening.'

Jurassic Parking Lot

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"Here! Let me get you all in!"

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Beware of SUV.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'We've found the problem...'

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

"Okay. Hit it."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

No Hand Signals

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

'Professional ice hockey is banning hits to the head...players may now back into each other when leaving the NHL parking lot.'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Parking? I don't think so.