Captain Ahab Sympathizer T-Shirts

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"I'm the bad guy..."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"Delivery."

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"He's about your size. Peg-leg. Seen him?"

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

and WHAT is this thing stuck in my back garden..?

'This doesn't look good -- the masses are huddling.'

'Flamin' tourists...'

"Bloody satellites..!"

Sauron's Sore Eye

"Of the whole crew, only the Captain was hooked up to the net"

"What makes him a wine snob? He's been talking about the cork for 45 minutes and he thinks we're still listening."

"The only planet within a radius of 8975 light years . . . you're simply unable to back into a parking space!"

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

"I knew you'd like it."

Close encounter.

He's a rebel without a cause.

'Occupy' camp at St Paul's cathedral, London.

Age Cards.

"He still won't eat? Bah! Him and his hunger strike. He will soon learn that I am a very patient man."

Merry Austerity Christmas

'When it comes to families 'none of the above' is a huge category.'

"Yes, it is a very compelling and tragic story. But, I still don't think it's worth 50p."

The Terrorist Chant