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"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Artistic License

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

At the Brew-haha Comedy Club

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

Trash-talkin' artists

Whatcha doing, dad? I'm at work. Logging on. Tree's Tree Nursery.

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'He's just de-man's-best-friended me.'

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"I've got to admit, this landscape painting is much easier than I thought."

"That must be Java Man!"

Cowvid-19

'What do you mean, for Simkins? I'M Simkins!'

"Miss, the cloud swallowed my homework."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

"This space intentionally left blank."

"That movie was released in 2015. It might be time for a reboot."

Honest, D-D-Dad. My homework's "in the cloud."

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

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