Canvas Critic T-Shirts

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

Perfect sincerity; or, tinkings aloud No. II - Artists being critical of each other's work

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"They're so realistic."

You're my Mona Lisa.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

(Camel paintings)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"Well....I could've done this!"

Use your imagination.

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'Projectile painting.'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Convenience.