Canine Sleuth T-Shirts

"I'll help you find your bone if you tell me how you dug this 'hole.'"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Paranormal A-Z...

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

He looks so natural lying there...

'So who needs sonar?!'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"What's all this?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

The Modern Godot

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

Missing Easter Egg

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

Spy Satellite

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

Lost Property - Missing Head

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.