Canine Comedian T-Shirts

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Too bad you shredded the gift receipt."

Dog Food Groups

"I do like it here, but I'm ready for my own apartment."

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

"Daisy is my married name. It was also my maiden name."

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

'I wasn't chewing it. I was editing it.'

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory?'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Don't give me that innocent look.'

'Okay Bob, but this is the last time. . . Honestly, if that stick is so important to you, you're going to have to learn to take better care of it.'

A tough dog scratches and barks.

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

"Scratch my head, would you?"

"Excuse me, but does it look like I have an extension on this scooper?"

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

Dog Obedience School: 'I ate my homework.'

"Imagine the treat as if you already have it."

'Is he sitting?'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

"I live each day in uncertainty, forever skating on the razor edge between cookie and no cookie."

'Your loyalty is unquestionable, but you just don't seem to be able to learn new procedures.'

"He wags, but his tail doesn't."

'They feed me and they let me in and out, but those are the only two tricks they know.'

"Kfetch!"

"I find that incessant barking eases the pain."

Simple Dog Humour

'Let's go over this again. Anything that hits the floor is yours, with the following exceptions...'

Skippy has a W.W.L.D. moment.

Dog on phone: 'I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'

Man Bites Dog...

'The genius over there calls me 'Spot'.'

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

'So when this alarm goes off you come and jump on me and lick my face.'