Canine Captains Pillows

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

The First Martian Dog.

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Dog with Anchor Lead

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

"You've already been for a walk."

The Unsportables: Relay

STRIP Hambone: 'He refuses to come in'

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Dog training

'Well it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

Top dogs IN and OUT trays

"He's our finest service animal."

"Fetch! What about a please?"

Dog walker / Cat walker.

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

(Overachieving Dog) (Just get me the paper and let Mr. Rather go!)

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'