Campfire Maestro Pillows

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

The Brothers Grime

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Holiday Supplies

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."

"I said, 'Fetch Chardonnay,' not 'Riesling.'"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

Campground Conductor

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

Cannibal recipes.

Pizza Rescue.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Have food. Need toilet paper

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"Appetizer is almost done."

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

Yodelling School: Your calls may be recorded for training purposes.

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

My Musical Influences

'It doesn't say anything....They're having a barbecue!'

'You poached the rabbit in white wine, and poaching's a $250 dollar fine.'

"Fire down."

"You boys might as well dig in - this could smolder for days."