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'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

'Garfield has told the oil companies to go to hell.'

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Roasting the Moneybox

'The Torch Holder'.

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Flash Cuisine

"Wow, Grog, fire and drawings. This is quite an entertainment center you have here."

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

public toilet in the woods

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

Creepy Camp Stories.

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

"It's much cheaper than hotels."

'Is the fire included?'

The segway RV.

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

Now that we can't afford heating oil our pension check is finally good for something.

Marshmallow Roast

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"First camping trip, Billy?"

Dog in front of fire, wearing slippers, reading paper, smoking pipe, with tea and bones. Owner says: 'Stay!'

Caravan going one way, wheel going another.

'Aaaah... nuthin' like sitting out here in nature with a good campfire and a couple of ice-cold Bloodweisers.'