Campaign Wiz Pillows

'The way to your heart isn't through your stomach, Senator. It's through your back pocket.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Group Think Time

Multi-tasking.

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Nerd tryouts.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"What's that you're reading?"

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

I've always been slower than computers...

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.