Campaign Trail Comedian Pillows

"You take your left foot out and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about/"

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'Thank you but I'm a bit sensitive to ethnic food.'

Donald Trump

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

'You've got to help me, Doc - I'm a swing voter!'

"Russia is run by rich oligarchs. America is run by rich insurance companies."

"Slogan."

"He can't tell his left from his right."

Jeb Can Ficks It

"If memory serves, the alternative to being a McGovern-nik was being a Nixon-nik."

England's jester - United States' jester.

"Give me moderation or give me death!"

Now THAT was a speech with something for everybody!

"Say what you will about my family, but please respect my equity's privacy."

"I'm running for congress to be a media celebrity. If you want a legislator, vote for a lobbyist!"

The Slumber Party.

Obama's favorite potato chips.

'I understand the plight of average crustaceans... Because I'm just an average crustacean myself.'

Gary Johnson

Election to-do list

I like you as president/I like-like you as president.

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

"Quick on his feet means if you can't answer a question, run away!

Vice-President Auditions Today!

'In view of the crap you talk, I'd suggest to take this, sir, before you get sued for environmental pollution.'

It's not the Winning. It's the Taking Part that Counts. Vote Lib Dem.

Elect Fred O. Pittley: The Candidate of ALL the special interests.

VOTE, 'I'm here to tell you what you want to hear....'