Camcorder Buff Mugs

"Baldo, are you ready? The funeral starts in 30 minutes!"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

This side is the gag reel.

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

"Makes me wish I'd kept that gorilla suit."

Battery Lighthouse

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

King kong 5 G.

I will be Bach.

'So, you think you can just waltz right in here and start making movies, Mr, Astaire'

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

Rutger Shower

"He's stopped working on his screenplay."

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Lumiere brothers caricature

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'I preferred her in the margarine commercial.'

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

Robert Mitchum

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

The Odd Couple.